


Drops into nightmares

by obviouslyelementary



Series: Nygmobblepot One Shots [8]
Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Love Confessions, M/M, Multiple Personalities, Nightmares, Season/Series 05, Self-Reflection, Spoilers, being shot, by that i mean ed riddler edward nygma and so on, oswald gets shot in the leg but it aint that important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 22:56:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18020051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obviouslyelementary/pseuds/obviouslyelementary
Summary: "I can only be given, never taken or bought. I am craved by sinners but by saints I am not" Oswald said, very slowly, as if he was coming with it on the spot, his voice delicate and soft. "What am I, Ed?"It took him a second or two, before the answer came to his mind."Forg... forgiveness..." he mumbled, and then turned around quickly, eyes wide. "You... forgive me?"





	Drops into nightmares

_"This will be the death of someone you love!"_

_"I don't love you."_

_A shot, a gasp, the sound of body hitting water._

_Silence._

_Silence._

_Eternal silence._

Edward opened his eyes slowly to the bright bedroom he was sleeping on. Turning to his side, he noticed the window open, probably left there by himself in the previous night, just to allow some air to rush inside the usually warm room. Now, his carelessness made him wake up to the bright light of the sun right on his face, making his covered up body sweat in need for balancing its temperature.

What busy days those had been.

Pushing the covers aside he sat up, throwing his legs out of the bed and rubbing his face slowly before reaching for his glasses. As he put them on, the room stopped being so blurry, and he saw his desk as messy as he had left at night, with all equipment exactly where he had left. The only thing missing was his mug of coffee.

Then again, he didn't remember even going to bed last night, so perhaps someone had come in and helped him under his covers. Wouldn't be the first time.

Checking his clothes, his doubts were confirmed. He never wore working clothes to bed unless he slept in the middle of it. However, he was still wearing his green overalls, which meant that no, he had not actively gone to bed, and whoever put him there did not have the courage to change him or to undress him.

At least he was alive, considering how insane Gotham had been in the last few months.

Standing up, Ed made his way to his closet, removing his overall and the rest of his clothes before wrapping himself in a robe. Then, he followed to the bathroom, where he took a short, cold shower, just to relieve pressure. After that, he rolled himself up in the robe again and left his bedroom, going towards the kitchen, knowing very well that breakfast was served at eight and lunch at one. Now, it was currently ten thirty two, so if he wanted something, he would have to fetch it himself.

Not that he minded, living most of his life alone.

On his way to the kitchen, he was distracted by a small dog with the same name as he, panting and wiggling his tail after Edward. With a sigh and a roll of eyes, Ed lowered himself down to pet the small creature, before turning back to his tracks and leaving for the kitchen, where he found a nice meal prepared already waiting on the table, next to a note. Frowning, he approached it, taking the note on his hands and opening it up to reveal Penguin's neat cursive handwriting.

_'I had some errands to attend today. Feel free to work on our submarine for the time being. I will be back after hours, so do not wait for my return. Please, try to sleep earlier, it is the third time this past ten days where I find you snoring over your blueprints. Attentively, your friend._

_'PS: the food is not poisoned.'_

Edward stared at the note for a while before slowly putting it back on the table. In front of him, a nice cup of cold coffee, and an omelet with bacon. It was cold, yes, but the thought counted. He had no idea how long Penguin had been gone, so it was nice to at least have some food done. He sat down, beginning to eat it, looking around at the empty kitchen, the empty living room to the side, the empty dining room to the front. The house seemed awfully empty when Penguin was gone, even though Ed knew there were guards everywhere.

It felt really lonely, all of that situation.

And it did not help that his nightmares seemed to be getting worst.

Every single night for the past three weeks, he had been dreaming about that day. The day where he almost got Oswald killed. The day when he said those words with a pain in his heart and a press of his finger.

At the time, he didn't regret it. He missed Oswald, sure, but he deserved it for what he had done to him, to Isabella, to everyone else. How he let Tabita and Butch pay for what he had done. How he had been selfish and mean to everyone around him. At the time, the Riddler was proud to say he had shot Oswald Cobblepot and thrown him inside the Gotham river.

But Ed wasn't so sure, and the memory had stuck with him ever since. Specially because he knew very well that shooting someone right between the ribs on their right side bellow their heart wouldn't do as much damage as it should. So maybe he didn't want to kill Oswald after all.

But that was in the past. Oswald was alive and well, they were friends again, partners even, and yet the dream kept on coming. Specially after he killed Penn.

And Ed most certainty knew why it came back, but part of him refused to believe it. He guessed it was the Riddler but then again, there were so many parts of him he despised that he couldn't pinpoint which one would be denying him of the access to what laid deep within his heart.

Maybe it was Ed himself.

He didn't know.

What he did know was that the house was extremely empty, lonely and quiet without Penguin around, so he finished his breakfast and left to his work station, decided not to think about anything anymore.

He would just do his job and keep his head centered.

 

It was close to midnight when Ed heard the bells from his rudimentary alarm go off. He stopped what he was doing immediately, taking out his gun and walking slowly out of his room, only to see three body guards walking inside with Penguin right behind, leaning on a fourth one. Confused, Ed walked out, trying to see why they all looked like lost bees (smarts was not Oswald's men's best quality), when Oswald slammed his walking stick to the ground.

"Get me a god damned bandage and some alcohol you idiots!" he screamed, before he groaned and leaned down, being aided by the fourth guard to sit down on the couch. Edward approached slowly just as he ran off to help the others, all while Oswald growled and moved around in the couch.

"Oswald?" he asked, quietly, and Oswald's head turned to him quickly before he sighed.

"Ed please, can you help me? Those incompetent morons just... ugh they just don’t know how to do things" he groaned, lifting a hand and waving for Edward to approach. It was covered in blood, and it did seem to come from Oswald himself. Ed was quick to approach the couch, walking around it and then stopping when he saw Penguin's bloody leg spread over it, pouring blood everywhere.

"What happened?" Ed asked, kneeling down and grabbing a knife from his pocket. Without asking, he slid the blade over the cloth and ripped off whatever covered the wound of Penguin's leg before placing his hand on the mess of blood and dirt that was his thigh. Oswald groaned and looked down at him, and then at his own leg.

"Things got messy" he chuckled in between the groans, hissing whenever Edward moved his hand close to the wound. "They shot my leg but I'm pretty sure the bullet is still inside."

"That's bad Oswald, we need to get you to my work station. There I have lights and the equipment to take it off and then heal it" Edward said, firmly, and Oswald nodded in agreement, both waiting for the morons that were supposed to protect them to return.

When they did, they all moved to Edward's working station, where he took all his plans off the table and picked up everything he would need to fix up Penguin's leg and get him to stop bleeding.

Another normal day at the dark side of Gotham.

 

It was past five in the morning when they finally got to rest. Ed took another shower to wash the blood off while one of the guards cooked Penguin something to get him strong again. After he was done, Edward walked to the living room where Penguin was eating, and sat next to him on the couch, reaching for his own cup of tea.

"So, negotiations went wrong?" he asked, ever so calmly, and Penguin chuckled quietly to himself, hugging his blanket tight around his body.

"The plan went wrong. They got to us three minutes before what we had calculated. But we got everything out and only I got hurt so... wasn't that bad" he said, shrugging it off, and sipping on his tea. "Could have been worst."

"Could have been better too. You need to stop ignoring me and allow me to aid on your plans" Edward replied, with just a drop of anger in his voice, but Oswald simply chuckled again, and looked at him, receiving the glance right back.

"And put your life in risk? Ed, you are a fundamental part of my plan. If I die, sure, things suck, but if you die, I will be stuck in Gotham with literally nothing and no one to help me escape or even survive. I can't throw my joker at any pair or triple play. I need to wait for the royal flush."

"You make me sound so important" Ed mumbled, turning away from Oswald and looking back to the fire in front of him. Oswald chuckled at that and nodded.

"Yes... maybe I do. But then again, why shouldn’t I? You are important" he said, sipping on his tea and then taking a bite of his sandwich. "To me and to my plan."

"So I take that nothing has changed" Edward whispered, and the room went silent for a bit. Then, Penguin hummed.

"Everything changed" he answered to the silent question, and then sighed. "But no matter what the path, a river always ends up in the sea."

They stayed quiet after that for a long time. A very long time. Ed watched the flames as they warmed up their bodies, hand holding the cup of tea gently as he sipped on it until the end. Then, he placed it down on the table, and helped Oswald with his own plate and mug once he was done.

They stayed silent for a little longer.

"I have been having nightmares about that day in the pier."

The words came out of his mouth before he even noticed.

"The one when you were frozen? Sorry about that" Oswald said, carelessly, but the apology was genuine, as usual. Even so, Edward shook his head.

"The one when I shot you."

The silence returned to the room.

"I have nightmares about that day all the time" Oswald said, honestly, and looked over at Edward. "But its fine. You will learn how to deal with it. I did."

"I think... I have been having nightmares because... I need to come to terms with some hidden truth within me that regards to that day in particular" he said, slowly, and Oswald tilted his head, curious. "About something I told you. A lie that slipped through my tongue... That I need to address."

"Ed, we are way past that" Oswald said, smiling and reaching out to gently touch Edward's shoulder. "You don't have to relieve it. You tried to kill me, I tried to kill you, we apologized, all is well."

"However the dream keeps hunting me" Edward replied, shaking his head and taking Penguin's hand on his own. "No Oswald, I must tell you the truth. I must allow myself to go past that trauma."

"... very well" Oswald nodded, assuming his usual business-self expression. "Go ahead. Tell me what you lied about. I'm all ears."

"I lied... about everything."

They both looked at each other in silence, Oswald nodded for him to continue, and when Ed turned away, he hummed and looked back to the fire.

"Okay. You lied about everything. Good. I hope your memories don't hunt you anymore" he said, calmly, and sighed to himself as he pulled the blankets further against himself. "Now, you should probably go and rest, after all you will have a long day ahead of you with me hurt and all."

"I'm not finished" Ed said, his voice coming out surly, and Penguin looked back at him, confused and a bit annoyed.

"Then tell me already Ed" he said, huffing right after. "I don't have all morning, I'm tired!"

"I love you!"

The room went quiet. Oswald's bright blue eyes widened and the red fire reflected on them, making his iris look like a strange type of purple. Edward had no courage to stare at him any further, shifting his glance to the wall before standing up and turning his back to his partner.

Something inside him was screaming to take that back. The Riddler, Edward, Nygma, someone else entirely, he wasn't sure who was inside his head anymore. It could even be Kristin or Isabella for all he cared about, after all, the guilt of their deaths still lingered inside his messed up brain.

But he wasn't going to take it back. It was the truth. And he deserved to say it out loud. For himself... and for Oswald.

"What?" Oswald's voice made itself heard as a whisper, so light and quiet that it was barely heard over the cracking of the fire. Edward closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and nodded.

"Exactly what you heard" _shut up Edward, shut up, you don't know what you're saying, keep quiet! Keep quiet!_ "I love you. That... was my lie at the pier. I told you I didn't... and I did."

"Ed... is that true?" Oswald whispered again, and he held himself back from turning to face the smaller man. "Do you... do you really love... me?"

"Yes" he whispered back. "And it is fine if you don't reciprocate. It is fine if you want me to never speak about it again. But the knowledge that I have loved you all this time and I have lied to you and to myself is making me rot inside my own skin. I need to be truthful... to you and to me... that my feelings for you go beyond those of friendship, of partnership, of trust. And I am aware that it is too late. I know I made way too many mistakes. And in case you are wondering, yes, I did love Kristin and I did love Isabella. And I was heartbroken when you took her from me. And I never regretted shooting you on that pier, I still don't. You got what you deserved for being selfish and jealous. But... I did regret not telling you the truth. Letting you die without you knowing that... that you weren't so wrong after all. But the Riddler... Edward... Nygma... me... whoever me was in control at that moment only wanted you to pay for your mistakes. I wanted to come out on top. And that has been costing me countless sleepless nights and countless nightmares of the night where you sunk... where I saw you leaving... and it has destroyed me, inside out" he said, his voice wavering between louder and softer, his hands gripping onto his arms so he could hold himself. "Every single time I needed you, I was selfish. I was self-centered. I destroyed your friends, turned them against you, and then I betrayed you time and time again, and yet you always came to me with the best of intentions... with your heart open... with warm food, clean clothes, shelter from the rain... You fell in love with me... and I payed you back in the most horrible way possible..."

He stayed silent after that, eyes opening to stare forward, into the kitchen. His hands were trembling and he felt sick, like he was fighting a virus inside of him. And he was. A big part of him never wanted to admit any of that in the first place. He was just pushing them back so he could be honest for once in his life. He was bearing his heart and letting it bleed out because the internal hemorrhage was killing everything inside him.

It was hard, but he had to be honest. At least once.

After a long time of silence, Oswald cleaned his throat, and Ed felt his back stiffen as he payed attention.

"I can only be given, never taken or bought. I am craved by sinners but by saints I am not" Oswald said, very slowly, as if he was coming with it on the spot, his voice delicate and soft. "What am I, Ed?"

It took him a second or two, before the answer came to his mind.

"Forg... forgiveness..." he mumbled, and then turned around quickly, eyes wide. "You... forgive me?"

Oswald chuckled, the sound a bit moist, and only then Edward noticed the tears in Penguin's eyes. He wiped them up and shrugged, sniffling lightly.

"How can I not? Everything you did to me was my fault in the first place. I could never blame you for my own mistakes, Ed. Or their consequences" he said, smiling through his tears and then tapping the couch lightly. "You know sometimes, when you have power, money and friends by your side, you forget that your decisions, no matter how good or bad, always have consequences. My mother was killed by my impatience. My father by my stupidity. My friends by my greed. When I ordered to kill Isabella, I knew very well what consequences my acts might bring. I still found it worth of a try. In the end, it lead us to this moment. I would have never killed her if I knew... that it would have torn us apart."

"I wouldn't have admitted I loved you otherwise" Edward interrupted, walking slowly towards Oswald, who turned his glance towards the taller man. "I would have lived a miserable life, being normal until the day my trigger went off again. I know it would. My fear was genuine because I knew that by your side, the Riddler had no room for failure. But next to a fragile and sweet woman like Kristin, like Isabella, eventually he would come out and kill everyone, everything I loved."

"If he came out, Ed" Oswald said, sighing softly. "You can never know for sure. You could have had a normal life, have a home, a respectful job, a lovely wife, children... you know, you could be normal."

"Normal? Me?" he chuckled, sitting down next to Oswald and smirking in that way that only the Riddler could do. "And do you think I would be happy to settle for a life of normality, Oswald?"

"I would, if I could" he mumbled, looking down at his hands and holding the blanket tighter. "Being normal was always a dream of mine, but I wasn't born for it."

"Oswald, you were born to be incredible. To be the god of this messed up city" Edward said, his voice growing in pride, and Oswald looked up at him, surprised. "Just answer me a thing. Do you still love me, after all we went through?"

"Of course I do" Penguin nodded, blinking his eyes slowly as they remained on Ed's. "I never stopped Ed, I just thought you-"

"Don't think" he whispered, feeling Ed slipping away and the Riddler take his place, a fire in his heart that was inexplicable. Oswald sensed the change, and seemed to become a little hesitant. "Shared between two, most often to woo, sometimes hot and sometimes cold, the beginning of us all, young and old. What am I?"

"Ed... I don't..." Oswald mumbled, his voice trembling, but Edward didn't let him respond. Moving forward, he held Oswald's face on his hands and pressed their lips together, making Penguin freeze for an instant or two before melting into it, his hands gripping onto Ed's shirt and pulling him closer to deepen the kiss.

Before they could however, Oswald moved to get closer and put weight in his shot leg, making him gasp and groan loudly, breaking the kiss and looking down at his leg. He fixed himself up again, Edward quick to help, and then the two looked at each other again, their cheeks light pink and their lips curling up into small, shy smiles.

"Kiss" Edward mumbled. "That's what I am..."

"Yes I figured" Oswald said between a chuckle, before he sighed and looked back towards the fire. "I... still think you should... think about it a little more Ed. I don't want this to become awkward, we just came back to being friends, I don't want to ruin this."

"You won't ruin anything, I really do love you Oswald."

"It's beyond six in the morning Ed, you are sleep deprived, we should talk about that later."

"I'm not even 24 hours awake yet."

"Ed, please, can we talk about this during lunch? Or dinner?"

"... fine, can I kiss you again at least?"

"..."

"Oz?"

"Fine."

"Great."


End file.
